When it rains, it pours.

So after a fun night out with my mom and sister I come home to my usual Friday night date with my down comforter and TV. I long for this time of day when I can snuggle in and relax.

And then I am bombarded.

I turn on the TV and "The Wedding Planner" is on. Fun. Except there are more commercials than movie. And the commercials slots are filled with eharmony, match.com, David's Bridal, etc. So I turn on my computer to tune out the commercials.

I check in with facebook....

I see that someone found out they are having a baby boy. Awww.

Then I see my former best friend with picture of her new baby boy's first bath. Awwww again.

Someone else just finished building a house with her husband. YAY!

So I move away from facebook and check email...

Got the weekly email from my church. There is a new series starting. "For the Modern Family". Wonderful.

Now maybe you have sensed my little bit of sarcasm in my reactions. Well you are right.

It is not that I am not happy for these people. I mean, I want to be. Somehow it just seems like salt in an already infected wound. Not exactly a good feeling. This is where bitterness can creep in. Or take over and knock me down before I knew what hit me.

It's not like I am doing anything wrong. I am just relaxing.... like so many do.

I spend time with God each day. I will admit, it's not always the quality I would like it to be but I do it and love that time with Him. Throughout my day I will find reminders of Him, or seek Him in prayer for something or someone. I will often sense Him near me; loving me. And I love Him back.

But am I acknowledging Him in ALL my ways? That is how He makes my path straight. It states this over and over again in scripture in many different ways. It often seems to me that everyone else got on the straight path and I got very lost. Everyone else just seems to have figured out how to get "the whole package". I often wonder what I did wrong. Where did I go off track? Was I ever on track?

I just keep coming back to this place of bitterness even when I am finding myself satisfied with God. Should I not watch TV? Movies? Go on Facebook? Check email?? I can't seem to get away from it. So what to do........ Where to go from here?

I honestly don't know.

I am weary.

I don't know how much more of this salt I can take.

I want my wounds to have a chance to heal.

My solution: Take refuge in my God.

So when I am being bombarded with messages that can lead to bitterness, I will find refuge in Him.

"The strengthening and renewal we receive when we let the Lord shelter us can be a very healing time in our lives." (Healing Words by Susan Brozek, p.104)

Like David, in Psalm 25, I need to fully take refuge in Him. And I need to do this until it is complete.

"Guard my soul and deliver me: do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You."

~Psalm 25:20

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, 'Destroy them!'"

~Deuteronomy 33:27

"As for God, His way is perfect: The Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in Him."

~Psalm 18:30

"Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes."

~Psalm 17:7

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn or my salvation, my stronghold."

~Psalm 18:2